Summer is close to ending, the beaches will soon be unhappy
and I've only had one beach trip this summer—Boracay. Life’s been pretty busy and
complicated lately and I’m not really into planning trips. I also only went to
the trip because bibi prepared and paid for everything, yay! Do I have to
reiterate how lucky I am to have this handsome guy for a boyfriend? Anyhoo, we
stayed for over a week and it really drained our his budget. Boracay is such a
lovely island but you also have to know your way around the island.
We stayed at Bamboo Beach Resort over at Station 3. The
hotel wasn’t really spectacular, it wasn’t bad either. The only thing that
annoyed me was that they have Korean diving instructors in the morning doing
mini diving tutorials using a megaphone. A megaphone, are you fucking kidding
me? At 8 fucking am? But it wasn’t that bad. Of all the days that we stayed
there, I was either too hungover to even bother or I was still out drinking so
it didn’t really matter. The hotel also had free breakfast, so instead of
arguing with the hotel staff, I smothered myself with eggs and bacon. What a
life!
I'd
like to think leaving this space for over a month gave me the much needed
enlightenment I was hoping for, I couldn't be more wrong. In my 25 years of
existence, I should have known that change takes time. And a month is not
enough to make things better, they aren’t. But I’d like to think I’m close,
with all the help and support I’m getting from my family, friends and most
especially the boyfriend. With this, I can only hope for the best. On to better
things!
I
celebrated my birthday 2 weeks ago and I was sober 3 days before and after my
birthday, now that’s a first! The boyfriend was planning a secret birthday salubong for me, which I eventually
found out, and I told him to cancel it. Not that I didn’t want to spend time with
friends and get wasted but, I think I’m finally in that age where celebrating
one’s birthday is not a big deal anymore. For my birthday, the only thing I
wanted to do was eat and shop, and that’s what we did. Couldn’t thank the
boyfriend enough for being my walking credit card that day, hahaha!
I'm not sure if it's professional to let it out and say, I'm not happy with my job. I'm okay with it, yes. But only because it pays the rent, takes care of the bills, takes me to places I haven't been to and gives me just enough to still help out my parents and my siblings who are still in school. I've been a little depressed at how I'm unable to figure things out. When I was younger, I always thought that when I approach 25, I'd already have a car and maybe a small condo unit, and you know, just live by as if life were that easy. Apparently, it's not.
I am approaching 25, and what have I accomplished so far? I have managed to give money to my siblings whenever they need it. Treat my parents every now and then, help out with the expenses at home and that's it. I don't have any investment, and aside from my gadgets, I don't own anything at all. I'd like to say I have lived a frugal life for the past 5 years. I haven't shopped as much as I used to in college, if I have any guilty indulgence, that would be food--which is a necessity. But where did I go wrong? How come my ideal life isn't even close to my reality? It's really disheartening to look at what 5 years of work has done to me. I've been feeling this way for several months now and I can't seem to shrug this feeling away. Cooking is the only thing that keeps my mind off things.
Aaaaand, since this post is becoming lengthy and melodramatic, I'll stop.