Ochi In The City

Give Me Something Good To Celebrate

I'd like to think leaving this space for over a month gave me the much needed enlightenment I was hoping for, I couldn't be more wrong. In my 25 years of existence, I should have known that change takes time. And a month is not enough to make things better, they aren’t. But I’d like to think I’m close, with all the help and support I’m getting from my family, friends and most especially the boyfriend. With this, I can only hope for the best. On to better things!

I celebrated my birthday 2 weeks ago and I was sober 3 days before and after my birthday, now that’s a first! The boyfriend was planning a secret birthday salubong for me, which I eventually found out, and I told him to cancel it. Not that I didn’t want to spend time with friends and get wasted but, I think I’m finally in that age where celebrating one’s birthday is not a big deal anymore. For my birthday, the only thing I wanted to do was eat and shop, and that’s what we did. Couldn’t thank the boyfriend enough for being my walking credit card that day, hahaha!

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, by Ochi Bernadas

bracelet

Saving My Money And I'm Hella Happy

It's been 10 days since my last post, and honestly, I'm bothered with a hint of I don't give a fuck. I just spent a whole week at home with my family and it's Easter Sunday so why should I give a flying fuck if I haven't posted in 10 days? Well, I guess it's because this is the only thing I have control of--as of the moment. I hate losing control, and this crisis I am in isn't really helping. After my last post, I still haven't decided where to direct this messy life of mine. I also don't want to talk about it any further because I'm just happy right now. I'm relaxed, well-rested and about to fall asleep beside the boyfriend. but before I do, I'd have to share this mini haul I had a few days ago. When I'm stressed, I love impulse shopping. But the boyfriend knows better, he brings me to Saizen, a Japanese store where almost everything is at P88, whenever I feel stressed or sad and it does take care of the impulse. I don't have to buy expensive shoes or dresses just to make the feeling go away. When he's oblivious and doesn't seem to feel that I'm sad/depressed, I force him to go with me so we can buy irrelevant things together. It makes me feel less guilty, you know, spending on things that I don't even need. I hate this habit but I love the feeling after I do it so I really haven't decided if I'm getting rid of it. Hahaha! Anyhoo, on to the haul!

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, by Ochi Bernadas

broccoli

Kitchen Chronicles : Tuna and Broccoli Pasta

I'm not sure if it's professional to let it out and say, I'm not happy with my job. I'm okay with it, yes. But only because it pays the rent, takes care of the bills, takes me to places I haven't been to and gives me just enough to still help out my parents and my siblings who are still in school. I've been a little depressed at how I'm unable to figure things out. When I was younger, I always thought that when I approach 25, I'd already have a car and maybe a small condo unit, and you know, just live by as if life were that easy. Apparently, it's not.

I am approaching 25, and what have I accomplished so far? I have managed to give money to my siblings whenever they need it. Treat my parents every now and then, help out with the expenses at home and that's it. I don't have any investment, and aside from my gadgets, I don't own anything at all. I'd like to say I have lived a frugal life for the past 5 years. I haven't shopped as much as I used to in college, if I have any guilty indulgence, that would be food--which is a necessity. But where did I go wrong? How come my ideal life isn't even close to my reality? It's really disheartening to look at what 5 years of work has done to me. I've been feeling this way for several months now and I can't seem to shrug this feeling away. Cooking is the only thing that keeps my mind off things.

Aaaaand, since this post is becoming lengthy and melodramatic, I'll stop.

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, by Ochi Bernadas

asparagus

Kitchen Chronicles : V-Day Platter

I was supposed to go out last night and drink the fucking weekend away, but around 4PM I decided to take a nap. 16hrs later, here I am. Woke up to a barrage of texts from the friend I'm supposed to be meeting! HUHUHUHU What a wasted night! Anyhoo, I woke up starved and since I feel like crap from all that sleep, why not squeeze in a short blog post, yes? I'm starting to neglect my little online space again because of things in the real world. Too complicated and too difficult to explain, let's move on!
Seeing the title, this is obviously a long, overdue post but posting it nevertheless. The boyfriend and I rarely celebrate little months like counting how long we've been and so. I used to, but being the accountant that he is, he told me it's not practical. Every now and then he'd surprise me, but I never really expect anything from him because he can be the kindest and most understanding boyfriend in the whole, wide, world--but definitely not the sweetest! Hahaha! For this year's Valentine's day, we already agreed that we're not going out because of the terrible Manila traffic, payday Friday and a lot of schools were holding their Junior/Senior Proms that day. And as you can imagine, that'll be just hell for commuters and non-commuters alike.

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, by Ochi Bernadas

capsicum

Kitchen Chronicles : Potato Salad

Woke up early today because the boyfriend kept on trying to ruin my sleep. We both have fucked up body clocks and unfortunately, they weren't in sync yesterday. Hence all the bullying while I was sleeping and he was wide awake. Couldn't go back to sleep so I made breakfast! We had Enoki mushrooms wrapped in bacon, scrambled eggs with basil, onions and tomatoes, broccoli salad and coconut juice!

Work this week was extra toxic and extremely difficult. Two months before my birthday and this lingering feeling of unhappiness haunts me every time. I know, I know. You'll tell me this happens every year, months before my birthday. I know that, too! But I can't seem to get rid of this annoying and unpleasant feeling. I just had a haircut, hoping I'm one step closer to finally letting go--of that dreaded feeling, amongst other things.