Positivity

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I just finished Toy Story 3. I knew for a fact I wouldn't be wasting any penny If I watched in on the big screen but I didn't have the time and the company. So there, I downloaded it and watched as salty tears drip down my cheeks. It was so fucking good! It's simple, it's real and it's about us. Yes, us. You, me, everyone! All of us have been kids, our respective experiences might not have been with toys but it always revolves around the idea of moving on or growing up. I can totally relate to it.

I can't and would not want to stop telling you stories why I love Baguio. I've been there, say, a good four and a half of my adolescent life and during that period I managed to change into a whole new person. I used to think that come a year working here in Manila, I'd forget how beautiful it is to wake up in the morning wrapped up in sheets of blanket not wanting to come out of because of the cold. But I was wrong. I also thought that since I was formerly from Pampanga (which is a hotttt place), I'd get used to waking up in the morning dripping with sweat while taking my daily commute, but no. I still miss walking to school wearing my flip-flops and making fun of the air that I breath because it looks just like the one you see in the movies.

I love Baguio so much that my emotions are at its peak when I go there. I am insanely happy and I can get by the day just watching CSI or Bones with Hunbun. I'm madly in love with the place and with the things that it has done to me. I will never move on and I will never grow apart from it.

If I had the chance, and If it weren't for my parents who wanted me to work in Manila, I would've looked for work there. I would've loved to go to Session Road every night and just walk home, I won't mind. I could've been more creative in clothes that I can wear to work, or accessories that I can play with to spice up my outfit.



Then I realized I always blame Manila for everything that I wasn't able to do after Graduation. I always put the blame on this and that but in fact it's just me. I never let go of Baguio since I went away. I was held by my own thinking that I wasn't able to start anew here in Manila. I never settled fully because there was always this thought that followed, "what if I got a job in Baguio, then I'd relocate.. " yada yada yada. I never really gave Manila a warm welcome. My mind is here but my heart is in Baguio. I realized that I can still move on a continue with my dreams here even if my heart yearns for Baguio. I just have to accept the fact that my work is here, and I should start living a normal life here by not wanting to go there every living second of the day. I do have to acknowledge the fact that I still love Baguio, nothing has changed since I came down here, I just have to set my priorities. As of the moment, work is one of my top priorities and it is located here in Manila. I don't have to blame the place for the heat, the long line whenever I eat at the pantry, the greedy taxi driver, the stinky water during the rainy season or what have you.


I just have to have a positive outlook. It should start now. I'll take it from there, hopefully everything should follow. As Suede puts it, " The birds should sing for you, and your positivity..".


From from what I call home

I still miss you, see you soon.

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