Merry Christmas Saint NickFriday, December 26, 2014
In the past few weeks, all I wanted was to curl like a ball of fur in my bed and wake up to the smell of breakfast. A quick smoke and a sip of coffee after, ah, perfect morning. But, that's next to impossible. I was in the hospital for over a week due to a swollen liver and Gastritis. I had to give up sour, spicy and fibrous food. Also, coffee and alcohol. The doctor also recommended that I stop smoking, what would my life be without my unselfish companion? I gave up everything, except for my smokes. I've always believed that if your time on earth is done, then so it is. And it's just one exemption anyway, I followed everything else, lol. I decided to listen to the doctor (well, most of what she said) for the first time so it won't be as painful since it's the holidays and I don't want to be in pain while having my holiday photo taken.
Anyhoo, Christmas for me is all about being thankful for everything. I may not believe in a single, powerful being anymore, but I sure still believe that there's still good in this world--and for the most part, that's what I'm thankful for. 2014 has been the most difficult year of my entire existence. Earlier this year, my existential crisis started to consume me, and when I was finally over it, something new came up. I thought I was winging it, until all the bad things started happening at the same time. With that, I'm so thankful for my friends and family. I've always been the type of person who's very social, but I keep all my problems to myself. Right now, I'm still trying to understand that it's okay to tell people you're not okay. It's also okay to tell them why. I've dealt with a lot of changes this year, something I'm not very fond of. I'll talk about it on my next post, for now, I want to thank everyone who helped me get through this year. For the select people I've trusted, thank you. Thank you for not breaking my trust and thank you for putting up with me. I know I'm a handful, thank you for always being there when the drama starts pouring in.
Despite every drama I had to go through this year, I think I was able to celebrate Christmas with flying colors. I think the saying, :Fake it 'til you make it.' was very apt during this time. I also had two big red dots on my face, but what the hell, it's Christmas and we're allowed to be ugly and fat. Remember, Christmas is a time to put away all judgments, hahaha! Look who's talking. Don't worry, I'm learning the art of putting away my judgments. That's my goal for next year!
I got a ton of presents from friends, family and from people at work. I feel so loved hence I don't see a reason not to be thankful. I may be a cold and heartless bitch but I still know how to be thankful. If thank you had a superlative form, I think this year would be the best time to use it. I hope you had a blast celebrating Christmas. I'm bracing myself for New Year 'cause by then I can drink again. Yay!
Happy holidays, lovely people of the internet!