A lot has happened since the pandemic and everyone pretty much abandoned blogs for vlogs, moved from YT to Tiktok, long form to short form, videos to reels and the rest goes on. Much can be said about what happened in my last personal update as blogging and vlogging in the past few years have been purely money-making tools for my creative outlet--but to be honest, there's not much room for creativity when you're working with brands since they often come with pretty strict guidelines to follow. I remember the hay days when I would giddily go to Ditz-Revolution by Helga Weber just to see random updates abbout her life, new photos from parties she's attended and other 'hipster' shenanigans she had going on. Or visiting Camie Juan's The Wild Spirit for my weekly dose of design inspiration because her vibe and aesthetic were just dreamy, and I love reading about her travel exploits in Europe.
Back in the days, when you followed a blogger, you really knew them. Not just a peak of what's going on in their lives, but who they are as a person. It was such a glorious time, then came Tumblr then came all other social medias and we just couldn't keep up anymore. Same went for me, I went from trying to chronicle my life in the city to accepting one brand deal after the other, turning this page into more like an advertising space in a newspaper with a barrage of sponsored posts and nothing about me at all.
I want to change that.
I want to start creating content for me. If people follow along, that's good. If they don't, that's fine too. I haven't really peaked as a content creator (never really got over 1M, or got overly popular), but I think I've just about reached what I could handle mentally and emotionally. I want to go back to the hay days of blogging where creating content was a means of documenting your life, for your own consumption and not the overly curated day in the life or week in the life we often see now. That kind that feels like a perfectly manicured lawn in a gated neighborhood where dark secrets go to live. I want to stay grounded, enjoy the content I'm creating and not have my world revolve around the money that comes with content creation.
There's still so much I have to say on that topic--sometimes I wonder if Camie and Helga both kind of felt the same way because they're both pretty inactive on social media lately. Helga still posts from time to time but since moving to NY, Camie has been really quiet. Sometimes I don't know too if it's how social media is used in other countries, not a lof of people outside of Asia are as addicted to social media like we are. When I was in the UK for a vacation, I rarely held my phone because pretty much no one else was recording or taking photos of everything so I just did the same and enjoyed everything I had at present. But again, a conversation for another time. Today, I want to share some updates.
As I mentioned, a lot has happened since my last personal update. I moved out of the metro to the province since quitting my work in Tech and moving to a remote sales job, but also still in Tech. I also got a dog! And for the bigest. one, we moved closer to the beach. We have been living in Bulacan for quite some time now and I found the monotony damning. Don'tget me wrong, the location is perfect because we get to stay with my husband's side of the family and my family too; a quick trip to Manila would take us about 30-40 minutes and the house we have is big enough that I get to have my own office and Chewy gets her backyard. But somehow even with that, I've failed to build a community from where home is.
If no one has told you yet, working from home can be pretty isolating. And even if I get along with so many co-workers, none of them aren't from the Philippines and can't really hang out if wanted to share a beer or two. And admittedly even if I say more than often that I don't like people in general, I've also come to accept that one needs a community to thrive. It can be a spiritual community--which is why we often see people congregating celebrating their beliefs, a community built on things that we love--like people who often go to the gym to celebrate with like-minded individuals who value their health and phjysique, or simply a community within your neighborhood who you can share extra meals with in the essence of proximity. And believe me when I say I have tried to find my own community as hard as I could given the circumstances, it just didn't feel like the right place for me.
Once I realized that a lot of the lonelines I was feeling stems from that, I made efforts to change things. Tried to meet my firends more often, visited family as much as I can, engaged in activities that could eventually lead me to a community--but all efforts for naught as I still found myself feeling isolated. The beauty of remote work is that, it's remote--you can literally do it anywhere. And that's when both my husband and I realized, yes we have a home here but it also doesn't stop us from making other places our home as well. This was after a much needed Q1 break in Siargao--Q1 has been brutal to me and I was feeling burnt out at work. And while we initially planned on Siargao, the logistics alone of bringing our dog is a nightmare. Plus, the thought that there are no decent hospitals should any of us get sick, isn't really a comforting idea. So we settled on the next best thing, still a beach but closer to home should family need us we can still come home on a whim. We finally settled on La Union.
Chewy and her beach friends |
We tried looking for long-term homes online and we stayed at one unit we potentially liked to test the internet, how Chewy can adjust etc. And we didn't like it--the place felt cramped, it was not a bechfront location and it just didn't feel right. At that moment we thought, well it was worth a try. We met with a friend who lives in Elyu, had some drinks and all of a sudden he mentions this place that he thinks would be perfect. It doesn't have a lot of online presence so we had to visit the place in person but we were already there so that wasn't a problem. The place had spacious parking, it was surrounded by greens and although it wasn't a beachfront location (the owner's house was on the beach front), we can see the sunrise and the beach from our window and it's literally a minute walk to the beach. It was perfect--it was a small studio unit, it had a corner 'living room' where we can work, a decent twin-sized bed that can fit the three of us, and a tiny kitchen right in front of our bed with a tv mounted just on top of the kitchen appliances. It was weird setup as I'd never lived in a studio unit before, but somehow it felt perfect for our little family.
It was a family-ran business and we were talking directly to the owner. We paid the deposit, set expectations on when we're coming over, settled for a month initially and that was it--we were moving to La Union for a month. I was so excited and kept conting the days 'til our 'move'. I packed just enough clothes and swimsuit to last us a month, Chewy's bag, some kitchen items they didn't have, my work things and of course my cameras--I wanted to document every bit of this journey, I told myself that. Then came they day, we drove happily, met with our friend once we arrived, had some coffee and light lunch and then we're off to fix our tiny studio unit. And for some reason somehow, that was 6 months ago.
I know I told myself I'll document the heck out of this little adventure, but I found myself reaching for my phone and my camera less. I spent more time with my husband, played with Chewy more often and cooked countless of meals in our tiny kitchen. I thought I would take videos and photos of everyday, but I didn't--I would wake up giddy at the thought of being blessed with a morning walk by the beach and a vivid sunset everyday to end my day. When I was stressed at work I'd put on my swimsuit and go for a swim, or simply ask my husband and Chewy for a walk and everything else will be okay. I went to the Sunday market more often than I can imagine, buying local fresh produce to grace my meals with. We visited lesser known local restaurants to diversify our palate of local Ilocano food, and we enjoyed everyday rarely remembering to document.
And so I guess, that's life for now. Uncertain but thriving, chaotic but full, fleeting but present.