I've always had ugly skin. I have 3 sisters and they all have the perfect skin and complexion that sometimes I wonder if I was adopted, loljk! But I wasn't kidding about the part where I have ugly skin. My face was pretty low-maintenance until College. I started having really bad breakouts during my first year and sort of had this epiphany (lolwhut) that I need to take care of my skin. Back then, taking care of my skin meant a facial cleanser and a basic moisturizer. Well, that actually went on until last year, haha. Thanks God for friends who look after you, even if that meant criticizing every inch of your face. Before 2014 ended, I consulted a dermatologist because I had two unflattering red dots on my face and they won't go away! December was the time I wanted to hide from my friends and avoid any client presentation as much as possible because I felt uncomfortable with those two red dots looking like  targets on my face. I was told to go through the whole shebang : a regular facial, a deep cleansing facial and an anti-acne treatment. I felt like they were more painful than when I was having my tattoo done! I suddenly remembered why I don't like going to the dermatologist!

With that, I was also prescribed after treatment care. Everything was so tedious that I swore I would start taking care of my face and my skin so I won't have to ever go through everything again. It also didn't help that I had to make those appointments during the busiest month of the year! Traffic was unforgiving and setting up an appointment was a pain since everyone seemed to want to look beautiful before the year ended. Anyhoo, those two big red dots (as seen on my Christmas and NY photos) are almost gone and I'm relieved that I can finally go out without having to think too much of what people are saying when they see me, lol. Anyhoo, I've decided to share my new beauty regimen, and yes, I've graduated from the basic cleanser + moisturizer phase. Please don't laugh at me!

2014 was an extremely difficult year for me. I had to deal with a lot of changes on different aspects of my life. Anyone who reads this blog knows that if there is something I'm allergic to, other than an ugly pair of Crocs, it's change. I don't know if my aversion to change stems from the fact that I love routines and I hate having to start over because that requires a lot of energy and I'm a lazy person or if I'm just one of those people who's not open to such things. Either way, big boss at my new work always tells me that it is unavoidable and the only way to deal with it is to keep moving forward. I knew that, but I think I have to be reminded several times before I actually start doing something about it. This year though, I think that may have to change. 

For 2015, I don't want to make promises or resolutions or whatever you want to call those inspirational bullshit. This year, I want to focus more on getting the things that I need and the things that I want. I intend to be have a higher EQ, God knows how unstable and low my EQ is especially when I see things that sparkle, well, among other things. I also want to travel more and spend quality time with the people I love the most. People who are always there when the going gets tough, people who are always there when I feel like giving up on life and people who are always there despite seeing how destructive I become when pushed against the wall. Damn, I really have a tendency to be overly dramatic, hahaha! That I must also change this year! Less drama, less problems! More money, more travels. Yay! With that, let me show you a sneak peak of my New Year. Well, more like what we wore for New Year, haha. These photos were taken on the same spot where we had our Christmas photos, so, not much of a change. I decided to include the fist GIF because I love how it starts with my birth year. I don't think it signifies anything, I just think it's really pretty. PS, I still have those pesky red dots on my face. 

In the past few weeks, all I wanted was to curl like a ball of fur in my bed and wake up to the smell of breakfast. A quick smoke and a sip of coffee after, ah, perfect morning. But, that's next to impossible. I was in the hospital for over a week due to a swollen liver and Gastritis. I had to give up sour, spicy and fibrous food. Also, coffee and alcohol. The doctor also recommended that I stop smoking, what would my life be without my unselfish companion? I gave up everything, except for my smokes. I've always believed that if your time on earth is done, then so it is. And it's just one exemption anyway, I followed everything else, lol. I decided to listen to the doctor (well, most of what she said) for the first time so it won't be as painful since it's the holidays and I don't want to be in pain while having my holiday photo taken. 

Anyhoo, Christmas for me is all about being thankful for everything. I may not believe in a single, powerful being anymore, but I sure still believe that there's still good in this world--and for the most part, that's what I'm thankful for. 2014 has been the most difficult year of my entire existence. Earlier this year, my existential crisis started to consume me, and when I was finally over it, something new came up. I thought I was winging it, until all the bad things started happening at the same time. With that, I'm so thankful for my friends and family. I've always been the type of person who's very social, but I keep all my problems to myself. Right now, I'm still trying to understand that it's okay to tell people you're not okay. It's also okay to tell them why. I've dealt with a lot of changes this year, something I'm not very fond of. I'll talk about it on my next post, for now, I want to thank everyone who helped me get through this year. For the select people I've trusted, thank you. Thank you for not breaking my trust and thank you for putting up with me. I know I'm a handful, thank you for always being there when the drama starts pouring in.