I hate this feeling. Who wouldn’t? Every time I get into this kind of situation, it makes me want to puke. Throw up everything that I’ve eaten and everything else in between. I know trust should be one of the fundamental ingredients in a relationship along with love and whatever else you have in mind, but, it’s one of the hardest to acquire/maintain/keep in a relationship.
Honestly, I don’t know what the point of this post is that’s why I’m not promoting it to my tumblr. I just want to vent, shout and cry. Almost, always I do it on my own. Just like how I’m doing with this blog. I only have a couple of followers so that’s fine, I’m not naming names anyway since it’s pretty obvious who I’m talking about.
This movie that I’m watching, it’s not helping either. Last Kiss is the title, and it keeps on skipping because it’s pirated. It’s about relationships and how they fail, but then again it also depicts various situations where you have to stand up for something and make things work. I love how this movie shows that it’s difficult, unlike other romantic dramas out there where they give you an idea how things should work out, it’s as if a kiss will iron everything out. But that’s it, aside from that it’s not making me feel any better as of the moment.
Watching western movies break my heart, I feel like it’s easy for them to detach from something or someone with the snap of a finger. Spur of the moment thought, I’m anti divorce because I’m the clingy kind of person. I know it’s a stupid thought and will not necessarily work for everybody, but it’s a spur of the moment thought and may change anytime soon.
OMG, this movie is so mushy; it’s making me breathe really heavy. It has Coldplay in the soundtrack. Can I cry now?
I abhor this feeling with passion. I feel like my heart is about to burst into fucking million pieces and he’s just there, clueless. I’m scared to talk about it. I’m always scared. Especially if he is the problem or he has something to do with the problem. I always think about my problems on my own and everything else that comes my way. That may be the reason why my face looks old and wrinkled. I want to cry. I want to fucking cry right now.
Yeah, maybe I will. I always do. But I’ll do that after I get over with how selfish and stupid I am for not sharing my problem with friends whom I know will understand. Or I can talk to him since it does concern him? Or maybe I’m just going to light up a cigarette, eat my butterscotch and then cry. That’ll be more like Natalie Portman in No Strings Attached sans the driving scene and the confectioner’s sugar around my mouth. Wait, that sounds like a good idea.
PS
I was just done with the movie and I’m teary-eyed right now. Hall and Oates is in the soundtrack as well. WTH, I didn’t realize this was a good movie. I actually like it. Again, subjective thought because my emotions make me like and hate things like that.
PPS
I will have emo posts every once in a while.
I'd have to stay sorry for flooding almost all of my social networking sites with negative posts and nonsensical rants lately. I know people hate bad vibes but I just can't help it. Seriously, I need friends. So would you mind if I ask you to stick around and listen some more? If yes, thank you and a big hug. If no, screw you bitch!
Aside from the trouble at work, I'm also having boyfriend issues. Yeah, yeah, I know you'll say, "Of course she's having problems yet again!". But, I don't know. At 21, being in a relationship just feels complicated. I always wish we can just go back to college when everything was a lot easier, less complicated.
It also doesn't help that it's Christmastime, which is supposed to be a time for love and forgiveness, is just around the corner. I never hated Christmas, I never wanted to skip Christmas, it was my favorite holiday even if I don't get my wishlist every year. Well, more of even if I have to work for my wish list every year. But the Christmas songs and the decors just won't do this year. Top that with an argument I just had with my mom, we're not talking or anything. Phew, what one hell of a Christmas am I going to have.
After watching Glee's Christmas episode though, I wanted to have the same philosophy as Brittany. I may look stupid but that's fine, at least Christmas will still be magical for me. *sigh*
I can't remember the last time I had put in a rant on this blog for I promised to stay true to my mantra that I should never, ever had BV here in my blog. But I'm sorry I just have to. I know no one likes hearing bad news, what more if it came from someone that you don't really care about. At this point, I don't give a damn, I just want to let this all out 'cause my chest freakin' hurts. Getting drunk seems like the only way to go. So I'm going to do just that.
Again, for the nth time and hopefully, this, too, shall pass. 
Ochi is a twenty-something Corporate Trainer who loves to cook, take photos and videos of her food, eat and travel. On weekends, she's either drunk or snuggling in bed watching her favorite crime drama. 
